Staying at home vs. working outside the home

Long Post!!!
To work outside the home or to be a stay at home mom is such a HOT topic for mothers. I remember watching an episode of Oprah on the topic and the mothers were yelling opinions at each other.  I knew when we found out I was pregnant that I would most likely fit in the working outside the home category due to various reasons.  I was o.k. with that. However, it didn't leave me without concerns. I still often have concerns, even though my mom worked outside the home and both my sister and myself turned out great by a lot of standards. But we do have a GREAT mom! Anyway, my concerns... Before Brady was born my list of worries about going back to work went something like this....

1. He would be more attached to the babysitter than me.

2. I would miss every milestone.

3. Someone other than his mommy would know him the best.

4. I would miss him terribly every second!!!

5. I would be so busy between motherhood, work, housework, and being a wife, I would fail at all of them.

6. There would be enough time to spend with Brady or Caleb.

7. I would have to depend on someone else to care for him and they would do things differently that me.
8. He would grow up to be a mass murderer or addicted to drugs or some other horrible crime I can't even think up.

9. It would go by too fast and I would regret working.

10. I would have jealousy towards moms who could stay home.

I didn't say they were all logical, but I was concerned that they would all happen and it would be because I chose to work outside the home!

Well, I can honestly say now 8 months into this precious little monkeys life that all the worry, all the concern was (for the most part) for absolutely nothing. It isn't always easy, but I truly believe that it has been for the best for me and Brady!

And as far as the things I was so worried about well I will just address those individually.

1. Brady LOVES his momma and his daddy for that matter. He lights up every time I come into view. It doesn't matter whether I just went into the other room and came back or have been gone all day. As soon as he spots me he gets the biggest grin and giggles.

2. To date I have not missed one single milestone! I may not technically see it first, but I see it develop as much as anyone. I think I had the wrong impression on how this worked anyway. It isn't like one day they are a blob and the next day they can sit on there own. It develops over time. The development of the skill is way more exciting to watch anyway. And I see new developments every day!

3. No one will ever know him the way I do!!!

4. I do miss him, but it is tolerable.  I am also thankful for a little time away! It also makes coming home so exciting!!!

5. I still feel this way. My house is NOT always clean, the laundry is often not done, my husband is neglected from time to time, I occasionally get overwhelmed at work, and sometimes I have to take Brady to his grandmas to get caught up on the weekends. This is by far the hardest thing for me to balance. I hear stay at home moms say the same thing, so that is comforting.  I have to tell myself it is o.k. to fail sometimes. AND I know Brady feels loved! Refer to # 1 on this list!!!

6. I could use a couple more hours in the day, but luckily Caleb and I both LOVE spending time together as a family! It doesn't really matter what we are doing.

7. I still struggle with this daily! Some things I can let go, but others, well that isn't so easy. I try to choose my battles and just let whoever is watching him know what I expect. I often end up feeling like the crazy mother. But some things are really important to me and I am trying to do the best I can without someone else contradicting every thing I do. So I am still working on this one. This is a huge struggle for me to deal with and the one that usually makes me say things like I am quitting tomorrow. Ha! Haven't quit yet, not sure why I still say that.

8. Check back in about 20 years to see about this one. Ha! I did decide that this was going to be more about the way we raised him and involvement in his life and less about whether I stayed at home or not. We shall see.

9. It goes by super fast. Faster than you could ever imagine! But I don't regret helping provide for our family when we need it. I also enjoy being a dietitian and I worked hard to be one.  It gives me a little break from all things housework and mommy, which is good for me. It has also helped Brady interact with others.

10. I can honestly say I have NO jealousy towards stay at home moms. That is her choice! I did not make that choice. I may or may not make that choice in the future.  They have to make different sacrifices to do that and I make mine to what I do. IF they are happy and feel that is what is best for their family then Great for them, but for me, at this point and time, it isn't. Whichever you choose, It is the hardest job in the world and we are all just trying to do our best.

I love my son and I love spending as much time as I possibly can with him. I also love seeing him interact with other children and family members. He adjusts easily to knew situations and people. He does wonderful in bible class. We can leave him in class and not worry about him.

We all just want the best of both worlds and want the absolute best for our children! So whatever you decide to do, rest assured in your decision. There are benefits and sacrifices in both instances. All that matters is that our children know they are loved and there needs are met. The rest falls into place!